


The Princely Choice

by WhoIsWren



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Big Brother Fíli, Dwarf Culture & Customs, Dwarven Politics, Erebor, Fíli and Kíli Are Little Shits, M/M, Mother-Son Relationship, Pre-Canon, Pre-Quest of Erebor, Protective Fíli, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 15:37:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14335629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhoIsWren/pseuds/WhoIsWren
Summary: Fili has an important, life altering, choice to make; either follow Thorin on his quest to reclaim Erebor and earn enough honour befitting any young prince, or stay in Ered Luin to safeguard his family and his people.He knows which choice Kili favours and Fili has never been able to deny his brother.





	The Princely Choice

Ered Luin was home, the only home he’d ever known. He’d give his life to defend his home and his people. This is where he grew up, where he learned to be a dwarf, where he felt at peace. The Blue Mountains had become a piece of Fili’s soul.

Erebor was not his home.

Dwarves by nature are loyal creatures, especially when it comes to heritage and ancestry. Fili is well aware of what Erebor means to his people and his culture. It is their ancestral home, their great city, their true home under the mountain. It is culture, it is history, and more importantly it is rightfully theirs.

And yet, Fili hesitates.

Thorin had told him of his quest to reclaim the mountain, to take back what was stolen from them, to give his people a home once more. He had asked Fili to join him, not only as his nephew, not only as his heir, but also as a highly skilled warrior. Fili had been flattered and felt his pride swell at the confidence his uncle expressed in his abilities.

Like any dwarf, Fili wanted the honour and glory that would come from a mission such as this. He knew how important this quest was, not only for Thorin but for his people as well.

Except Fili wasn’t just any dwarf. He was a prince, heir to the line of Durin. With a title such as his he needed to think about more than his own pride. He had an entire people to look out for, an entire people to protect and govern. He had responsibilities and duties. He had a life here, an important life, one that he couldn’t throw away on a journey that could end it all.

There were millions of reasons why Fili should stay behind in Ered Luin while Thorin went and tried to reclaim the mountain. Likewise, there were many reasons why he should follow his uncle.

One such reason for joining the quest landed heavily on the grass next to him, nearly bowling him over in the process.

“I can hardly keep still. Finally, Fili, a chance at glory! People will remember our names; they will carve them into the stones of Erebor and tell stories of our bravery and skill. This is everything I’ve ever dreamed,” Kili laughed, vibrating with excitement after hearing Thorin’s proposal and his wish that _both_ his sister-sons joined him.

Kili was always the adventurer, the wild son that could not be held down. He was the one that always longed for Thorin’s approval and to be seen as worthy and capable by his people. Fili had no such desires.

The brothers were as opposite as night and day but one could not live without the other.

For Kili this mission was his chance to prove himself not only to their uncle but also to every dwarf that ridiculed him for his appearance. Dwarves grew beards the moment they were born, they should be long and detailed with intricate braids. Yet Kili had never been able to produce much of a beard, something young dwarves have teased him for his entire life. Fili knows what people whisper about Kili behind his back and he’s tried his best to shield him from the worst of it yet harsh words always find their target.

To deny Kili his chance as honour would cause him more pain than if he was struck down by a sword. Fili cannot refuse Kili this opportunity.

Many years ago when Fili and Kili were but small children Fili made a promise. One he has kept all his life, one he prides himself on honouring, and one he gladly adheres to.

_“Swear to me, Fili, swear you will be by your brothers side, that you will protect him. Before your people, before duty and honour, before your mother, promise you will protect Kili. Swear it.”_

It was the last time he ever saw his father alive and he has kept his promise all his life. After nearly 100 years Fili has not wavered from his promise.

Until now.

He still believes in the promise and it nearly tears his heart from his chest to think about not being by Kili’s side, but to be a prince and lead a people sometimes one has to make sacrifices.

Fili must choose between protecting one and protecting an entire people.

He cannot choose.

Either way he loses, either way he is letting someone down, either way he is breaking his own heart.

“You are quiet by nature brother, yet this is truly a feat,” Kili chuckles after Fili has been silent too long. Most would think Kili too immature, naïve, or spoiled but Fili knows his brother as well as his own heart. Kili is more than any man, elf, or dwarf. “What troubles you, Fi?”

“This quest,” Fili sighs heavily. His eyes remain overlooking Ered Luin, gazing at his home and his people. How could he leave such a place? “I have not made my decision yet.”

“What? Why not?” Kili exclaims, shocked beyond belief. “Apart from mother, what keeps us here?”

This is where they differ. Being the second born Kili has not had the pressure placed on him nor has he been taught as Fili has as heir. There are things that would never cross Kili’s mind yet are things Fili _must_ consider. 

“As heir do I not have a duty to stay and protect my people while Uncle is away?” Fili turns to look at Kili, to make him understand in some way how important this decision is for Fili. He must look especially desperate and lost, for Kili’s eyes turn sad and understanding.

“You do not always have to be heir. You can be nephew, and you can be brother.” Kili’s voice is soft and full of love as he reaches out to squeeze Fili’s tense shoulder.

Fili looks at Kili and for a moment he understands Thorin’s obsession with Erebor. Fili would travel to the ends of Middle Earth, he’d fight every dragon, every orc, and he’d take on Sauron himself just to get Kili back. He’s known for years that Kili was his heart and looking at him now, sitting there as the last rays of sunlight dip below the Blue Mountains with a soft smile on his face, Fili doesn’t think he’s ever looked more beautiful.

But this moment is not the time for declarations or sombre moods, there are plenty of those times awaiting them. For right now the time is to do as Kili suggested and be a brother.

“If I am brother then I can do this,” Fili announces before tackling Kili to the ground.  Fili held on tightly as the brothers rolled for a ways, laughing and shouting as they went. Dust flew and animals scattered. There were twigs and rocks digging into them, yet neither cared.

When their motion stopped Fili went back on the attack. He grabbed, he pulled, he poked, and he tickled, anything to get a laugh from Kili. For a long time the brothers wrestled against each other, playing in a way they hadn’t done for some years. For a long time Fili forgot about the journey Thorin was embarking on, he forgot about his decision, and he forgot about being the Durin heir. For a while Fili was just a brother.

Fili had a few years on Kili and with that came more muscle and training, not to mention the advantage of being the big brother. He remained victorious in their half-hearted skirmish, blocking Kili’s attacks and keeping his little brother pinned beneath him.

All that changed when Kili was able to get a leg free and the tables turned. Kili wrapped his free leg around Fili and with great force was able to flip the brothers over, pinning Fili beneath him. Though Fili may be stronger and better trained, Kili had many of his own strengths. Kili being taller and slimmer had the longer arms and legs and was generally more agile and quick.

With a pronounced _‘oof!’_ Fili hit the ground hard, the breath knocked from his lungs. He smiled up at Kili dazedly, impressed by his spry actions and quick thinking. Kili more securely pinned Fili to the ground, settling his weight, tightening his knees around Fili’s torso, and holding and pinning Fili’s wrists to the ground.  Fili made a show of trying to buck Kili off, thrusting his hips and wiggling his torso. His movements didn’t sway Kili who merely smirked down at his brother’s antics.

“I win,” Kili goaded, smirk still firmly in place as he squeezed Fili’s wrists. Kili looked every bit the wild son he was accused of being. His hair was matted with leaves and twigs, his clothes covered in dust, sweat on his brow, chest heaving, and a twinkle in his eyes and danger in his smile.

Fili thought the sight more alluring than the tales of sirens, beautiful creatures that lure men to their deaths. Kili was the most beautiful creature Fili had ever laid eyes upon.

As they panted for breath the brothers gazed at each other, the humour falling as the intensity grew. There was heat and desire, longing and lust. It was not the way one brother looked at another, yet neither found fault in their gazes. They knew what they were to each other, as did their closest kin.

Fili was always careful with Kili in this way, always let his younger brother take the lead and set the pace. He never wanted to pressure Kili into anything, or rush him before he was ready. Fili would gladly take any affection Kili gave him and was content to wait a lifetime for such attention.

Kili’s eyes often fell to Fili’s lips as they caught their breath, yet Fili remained still as he lay beneath his brother. Drawing in a shaky breath Kili slowly lowered his head, increment by small increment, until their lips brushed. It was a light press, nothing more than a ghost of a kiss yet it set blaze to a fire inside Fili. He wanted nothing more than to flip them over and take Kili right there, yet he stayed still and let Kili steal his breath away.

The slow torture only lasted a moment, a few more gentle kisses, before Kili pulled away. Fili was out of breath and felt dangerously fragile. With just one kiss Kili could destroy him, yet Fili never feared a broken heart when it came to Kili. He knew his brother loved him just as much as Fili did.

Fili must have looked just as dazed and love drunk as he felt because Kili chuckled nervously and blushed brilliantly. As much as he loves his brave and reckless brother, Fili loves this shy and tentative side to Kili just as much.  He doubts there is any part of Kili he wouldn’t love with his whole heart.

Kili cleared his throat and released his hold on Fili’s wrists, sitting back on Fili’s lap. “I was asked to bring you to mother but you distracted me.”

“You, brother, are the distraction, though I rather like you on my lap like this,” Fili chuckled, running his newly freed hands up Kili’s thighs and settling them at his hip. Though he would never pressure Kili he figured a few leading comments every now and then was a harmless flirtation.

Squeezing Kili’s hips suggestively Fili used the moment’s distraction to flip them. Instead of pinning Kili below him Fili jumped up and left his brother panting and dazed on the hillside.

“You dirty cheat,” he heard Kili yell good-naturedly as he left. Fili chuckled and made his way to their family house, his previous troubles forgotten.

He was still smiling when he entered their home and found his mother puttering around their kitchen. Though they were royalty, in Ered Luin they lived rather simply; compared to the grandeur of Erebor at least. Dis set about tidying up their small kitchen and kept her back to Fili though they both knew she was aware of his presence. Nothing escaped the mighty Dis.

Fili stood in the kitchen feeling his good mood dim. He noticed the way his mother wouldn’t turn around, how her shoulders were tensed and how she kept moving things that were already put away. He had a feeling he was in trouble though he wasn’t sure what offensive he’d caused.

“You have not given him an answer,” she spoke softly yet her voice was laced with power and a hint of anger. Fili sighed and hung his head. This journey to Erebor was already causing Fili troubles and he’d yet to step foot outside his home. “Why do you hesitate?”

“Mother,” Fili sighed. Perhaps she would understand Fili’s thoughts more than Kili did, seeing as she was a leader of their people just as he was. “I am Thorin’s heir. If his quest fails should there not be someone to lead our people? The Blue Mountains are my home, these dwarves are my people. It is my duty and honour to protect them. Not to wage war on a dragon.”

This conversation could go either one of two ways; his mother would either compassionately tell him she understands his hesitance or berate him for not honouring their ancestors. She would either comfort or scold; it was anyone’s guess which she’d choose. No matter her tone Fili and Kili both knew their mother loved them above all else. Her love made them the proud dwarves they are today. Fili can’t imagine leaving her to go on this quest, as much as he can’t imagine leaving Kili to stay in Ered Luin.

Dis turned to face her eldest son. Their people called him the sun or the lion, she thought him worthy of both titles. She walked closer to Fili and saw the dwarf he would become. It made her proud.

“I love my brother and he has been a great king to our people, but you my son,” Dis smiled and cupped Fili’s face, “ _you_ are going to be the king we _need_. A king worthy of the name Durin, a king to lead our people to a better life. You are a king I would follow.”

Mother and son smiled at each other through their tears. Dis was proud of her son, proud of his strength and his heart. Fili had never heard his mother speak with such pride and in that moment Fili truly felt like he could be a worthy king – something he has often doubted.

Dis stroked Fili’s wet cheek as she smiled at him. Her little boy had grown into a true heir of Durin and become the dwarf that would restore honour to the name.

“Fili, you must go.” It broke her heart to think of him leaving, but he was needed elsewhere.

“But, mother–“ Fili began to object, shaking his head and jerking slightly back in surprise. After everything his mother said he was sure she would be telling him to stay and protect Ered Luin.

“Listen to me, a true king knows where he is needed, and right now you are not needed in the Blue Mountains. I can stay and care for our people as I’ve been doing all your life,” Dis lightly patronized. Fili chuckled as his mother’s sass, proving where Kili got his humour from. “You are needed on the journey to Erebor.”

“There are plenty of capable warriors going,” Fili scoffed. He knew he was a great warrior but he was still young. In dwarven culture the older a dwarf the more deadly they became. Fili knew many of the dwarves accompanying Thorin were well aged; surely he had enough warriors following him, ones more skilled than Fili.

Fili yelped as his mother smacked him across his head. Her look said it all _‘how dare you dismiss your skill. You are worth more than that’._ Dis never cared for modesty or belittling oneself. She sighed and brushed Fili’s golden hair from his face, looking at him as though saying goodbye.

“Fili, I am asking you to watch out for _both_ our brothers. Kili needs you, he will _always_ need you, but I need someone to care for Thorin and remind him the real reason he fights. Not for gold or glory but for kin.”

It was dirty and underhanded but her words did the trick. There was still a part of him that didn’t want to leave his people but the greater part would do anything his mother asked of him.

There were those on the company that could calm Thorin or berate him for his ego, yet they would always treat him as a King. Somethings cannot be said to a king, there are some lines that cannot be crossed. Fili respected Thorin a great deal but he had the privilege of speaking to Thorin as an uncle instead of a king. He could be the one to stop Thorin from himself.

“I supposed I should assure my blades are sharp enough for dragon scales,” Fili decided.

Dis visibly sagged with relief as if a weight had lifted from her shoulders. She grabbed Fili’s face and brought him lower so she could kiss his cheeks in gratitude.

“Yes!” They heard a shout of joy from outside and the two laughed. Of course Kili would be listening in to their conversation.

Their little family spent every moment together after that, savouring their time together before the journey. It was a bittersweet time but they were all filled with love and pride. The day the brothers left Dis gave Kili a stone and made him promise to return to her. Likewise she made Fili promise to be the king she knew he could be.

The brothers kissed their mother’s cheek and climbed onto their ponies. They left Ered Luin, their home, to journey to reclaim their old home.

They set off for Erebor.

 

**Author's Note:**

> For Camp NaNo I'm writing 20 short fics over several different fandoms, this is number 9.  
> [My Tumblr](http://www.nothing-personal-my-dear.tumblr.com)


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